lol jk but srsly

I got knocked out of the Last Poet Standing.

The reading went pretty well, I felt like I did in my delivery but I felt that I was one of the only poets who didn't go for pop culture references and humor. I was hoping that since it was a poetry competition I would be rewarded for writing poetry rather than putting together a rhyming stand-up routine. (that being said, there were some good, thought-provoking poems that were read)

I was actually feeling pretty down about the whole thing, mostly because I can't seem to force myself to write poetry unless I have some sort of deadline hanging over my head, and now I don't have that any more.

I did run into a few students today who had seen me read and said it was a travesty that I didn't make it to the next round. Because the audience ballot said to vote for the two worst poems and the best, one student even suggested that the voting had become political and some voted to eliminate competition rather than voting honestly (certainly never an allegation I would make, but I still find it to be a comforting thought :)

In any case, it's over and done, and I think I'm glad I did it. I really wish that I could force myself to write poetry without a deadline (I wish even more that I just couldn't keep myself from writing poetry) but I guess that's life.

Thanks to anyone who at least wished they could be there. :)

I'm gonna drown my sorrows in my newest obsession. Which I guess I should mention is rated "M" for Mature. And blood. Lots of blood.

*Note* I honestly didn't mean for that to sound as creepy as it does...

The Muse

The Muse

Somewhere, deep within my innermost sanctum, lives the Muse.

At least—I think that she lives there.

I hired Her a long time ago, and the details of Her contract are…

Fuzzy.

She was supposed to work only part-time,

For Her rates are almost too much to bear,

No matter how impressive Her credentials.

She does Her job very well,

Though I sometimes worry I don’t keep Her busy. 

I once happened in upon Her,

Thinking to request help with something trivial—I forget.

I was captivated by the airy gown she wore so easily

Like a shaggy lawn wears dew on a misty morning.

But I was shocked by the fact that

She was on hands and knees, scrubbing the floors.

I do my best to keep an orderly inner sanctum,

But it’s true that I don’t get enough chances to escape there,

Like a cabin in the woods deteriorates after years of neglect,

With business meetings and dirty dishes displacing every weekend getaway,

I guess I let it get away from me.

But there was the Muse, scrubbing a cerebral spot on the floor

As fiercely as the Lady Macbeth had ever scrubbed her own bloody hands.

…I decided to come back later.

                                                                                                                                                                                    

I spend a lot more time in my inner sanctum lately—truth be told,

I sometimes can’t seem to pull myself away,

For after having cleaned the room, she proceeded to redecorate.

White walls transformed into forest borders, protected by thick underbrush.

Faded linoleum gave way to lush, living carpet

Ideal for napping in or simply resting tired feet,

the green down peeking out between my toes.

A perpetual snowfall of purple petals tumbles through the air,

sometimes as a blizzard and other times lazily forming piles

that bruise when you step on them and eventually vanish.

I haven’t seen the Muse lately.

I’m afraid she wasn’t under a lifetime contract.

But should the petals turn to dust and my inner sanctum collapse into a blasted waste,

I think she’ll show up, business card in hand, ready to discuss Her rates.

I Made it to Round Two!!!

I made it to Round Two of Last Poet Standing!!!

The next round will take place on Tuesday at 8 (I'm

assuming) at the Crossroads.

For this round, I have to write a poem to this prompt:

Take a character from mythology, history, or pop culture, and place him, her or it in an unusual situation.

At this point in my life, I'm really not sure what I want to write about, but I will say that the first thought that popped into my head was "Gaga in my dreams..."

Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

Last Poet Standing

BYU–Idaho is staging a competition called Last Poet Standing. I submitted this poem. And I made it to the first round. 


Each poet reads his or her poem and the crowd and some judges decide which poets will advance to the next round. A prompt is given and the poets have a week-ish to write a new poem, which is read and the process continues until the "last poet standing" wins an Amazon Kindle. 


I would absolutely appreciate the support of anyone who'd like to come! It will take place (at least I'll be presenting on)  Tuesday January 25, 2011 on the Crossroads stage in the Manwaring Center. In any case, I'm just happy that I made it and I'm looking forward to a fun time!

And the BIG winner is...

*Drum Roll please*

And so, after much prayer, fasting, meditation, counseling... yeah, whatever. So I would like to thank everyone who participated, first off. I appreciate the hours of time and mountains of talent that went into this competition, I am quite pleased with the turnout and I hope that you enjoyed stretching the scopes of your creative horizons. And so, with no further ado, I reveal my new pie's name!







Once again, a big thank you to all who participated, Lindsay Hymas, you will soon receive your complimentary can of Sweetened Condensed Milk. It's been fun everyone! And good night!

We're Gonna Have a Little Competition...

So, about a year ago, I invented a pie.

I'm not sure exactly why I invented a pie, but I did. I believe my inspiration stemmed from my companion's talk of making caramel from sweetened condensed milk. Anyways, it has turned out to be a hit (that is, unless my dear friends and family are lying!) but, the only name I have called it by is "Cookie Pie." Lame. I'm not at all a fan of the name "Cookie Pie," so I have decided that I will put it to my readers! Ok, so chances are, there are something like three of you, but here's the rules.

If you happen to read this,
1) Please sit for a moment and think of a kick-Awesome name.
2) Post it as a comment!

And that's pretty much it. After a goodly list has been compiled (I'm hoping for a MINIMUM of like 5) I'll pick one off the list and my beautiful little calorie-intensive creation will be forever known by that name, a legacy to be handed down by my children and my children's childen (and if you copy it down, you and yours!) So... yeah. Here's what's in it:

1 Can Sweetened Condensed Milk
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. (Store-bought or home-made)

An' that's it.
Let me note that this is a fairly variable recipe, and I'm still experimenting with it, but here's a basic outline.

Line a greased pie-pan with a thin layer of cookie dough and place in the oven at 350 for 5-6 min.

Slowly begin heating the condensed milk in a saucepan, eventually bringing it to a boil, careful not to burn it! Add some cookie dough to that. Let it boil for a while, stirring constantly, until it comes to a good consistency. You don't want it too soupy or too hard.

Pour it into your cookie pie crust and line the top with cookie-dough completely covering it.

Broil it on High until the top has turned a beautiful golden crispiness (WATCH IT THE WHOLE TIME) and let it cool.

Serve in a bowl with ice cream and hot fudge and you're done!

So now you know what's in it and how it's made, if you would PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come up with a name, and we'll get the creative juices flowing! Depending on the number of responses, I'd like to pick a name around New Years.

THANK YOU!!!

PS- At the recommendation of my sister, the first place winner will receive a complimentary can of Sweetened Condensed Milk from ME! (Provided I get a valid address) So put on your thinking caps!

PPS- I'm gonna hold off on naming a winner until I have one more name! I don't think four is too too much to ask! :)